Grieving the death of a loved one is a complicated, ongoing process and none of us handle it in the same way. Our hearts hurt at the thought of no longer being able to speak to a loved one or call them on the phone, and yet that urge never seems to go away. Writing a letter to a lost loved one is a therapeutic exercise that can help us take important steps toward acceptance and closure.
While it can be challenging, writing a letter to heaven is a way for us to speak from the heart and express the feelings we may be holding inside. It gives us an opportunity to tell the person who passed away how much we love them and miss them. It also allows us to say things we never got a chance to say when they were alive. In this letter, we can recall a favorite memory, get them up to speed on what has happened since their death, or let them know how we continue to honor their memory.
I lost my best friend to stage IV stomach cancer and my heart hurts every time I wish I could tell her exciting news or get her advice. Since I can’t communicate with her the same way I used to, I wrote a letter to her that I’m going to share with all of you. My hope is that it will inspire you to write a letter of your own.
Dear Dina,
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since you’ve been gone. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss you or think about you. Every time I pass the street sign named in your honor I have feelings of both sadness and pride. The street you grew up on is named after you, how cool is that?! But it makes it real for me…a reality I wish I could change with all of my heart.
When you got diagnosed with cancer it felt so surreal. You never really think something like that would happen to someone you love, especially someone so young. Your life was just getting started. You had married the love of your life only a few months prior and were starting your new lives together. I had never seen you so happy—but all of that changed in an instant.
You went through the hell of chemo like a champ and rocked your buzz cut. Through all of the pain, confusion, and sadness you never lost your smile and I never once heard you complain. That’s something I’ll always admire about you. You put my life into perspective. There I was worrying about stupid little things that didn’t really matter and you were battling for your life. In fact, it was the most courageous battle I’ve ever witnessed.
You never wanted me to cry over you. I remember the first time I visited you in the hospital and I walked through the door in tears. You said, “Don’t you do that. Don’t you cry, because then I’ll get upset.” So, from then on, I tried to hold it together for you. I wasn’t always successful, especially as you neared the end. Seeing you in such pain was heartbreaking and it felt so unfair. At 34, you had so much more life to live. But in the years you had, you made a big impact on everyone who knew you.
I hope you know how much you will always mean to me. You were my lifelong friend who stood by me through it all, even when others turned their backs on me. I hope that one day when I have children, they’ll be blessed to have a friend like you. I’ll never forget the many memories we shared, like all the times we went sleigh riding as kids to all the fun nights out on the town we had as adults. I only wish we had the chance to make more.
Although you’re no longer living in the physical sense, I know you’re still alive in my heart and have never left my side. It’s amazing how many signs you’ve given me that you’re still around, from songs on the radio to lights flickering and butterflies fluttering. It’s so comforting to know you’re still looking out for me and the other people you love.
Thank you for making me realize how precious life really is and inspiring me in my writing. Until the day we meet again, I thank you for being such an amazing guardian angel. Rest easy my forever friend.
Love always,
Heather
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