Looking back on my dating life, there were definitely times when I was with someone so I wouldn’t be alone. I wasted years of my life going back to the comfort of familiar relationships all because it was too hard to hold out for what I knew I truly wanted and deserved. I viewed being alone as being lonely, but I was wrong. I realized that sometimes being with the wrong person can feel even more lonely than being single.
I can’t beat myself up about it though because I can see why I repeated this pattern. The single life isn’t easy, especially during this time of the year. I walked into Walmart the other day and it looked like Valentine’s Day threw up everywhere. It stung a little at first because I won’t be buying a heartfelt greeting card for someone special this year and I won’t be getting a box of chocolates (which is for the best since I’m on a diet anyway). But I snapped out of it quickly and remembered I’d rather be alone than with the wrong person, simply to have someone to share this Hallmark holiday with. Scrolling through Facebook and seeing endless engagements and happy couples doesn’t make it any easier either. We just need to take social media for what it’s worth. People often paint a picture of perfection. We see only what they want us to see. Just because someone’s in a relationship, doesn’t mean it’s the right one. We have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. That’s why you’ll see pictures of smiling, happy couples and a few months later they’ve broken up. You think to yourself, what happened, they seemed so happy. Well, things aren’t always what they seem.
[ctt template=”4″ link=”Boe3q” via=”no” ]”Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t compare your behind the scenes to someone else’s highlight reel.” – Steve Furtick[/ctt]
Being single does have its benefits though. It offers us a chance to get back to doing more of the things we love. It has given me more time to focus on writing and working out, which are two very important things to me. If you wanted, you could take the class you’ve been meaning to take or spend more time with your friends. The world is our oyster.
Remember, we don’t need a man to save us. We shouldn’t stop living our lives to the fullest because we’re waiting for someone else to make it better—that’s our job. This isn’t Jerry McGuire, we don’t need someone to complete us. We create our own happiness.
Despite what others may think, being single means we’re strong enough to wait for the right one. We’ve come too far to settle. This uncertain time, the in-between, will become more clear in the future. Know there’s a purpose in waiting. Mark my words, we’ll be glad we didn’t block ourselves off from the right person by occupying our time with the wrong one for the wrong reasons. For now, we just need to embrace our independence and have faith it will all work out for the best.
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